To Britney

If people just prayed for her instead of judging her. And loving her like a human being instead of like this object then maybe things would be different. Please stand with me and others and start praying for her. Thanks!

Really Weird Dream

I had this really weird dream on Saturday night. I was at my friend, Haeley’s house and we were talking about going to the Britney Spears concert cause I really wanted her to go with me. But she wasn’t so sold, she wanted to go but didn’t have any money. She was explaining to me what she needed the money for. She said, “Well, I’m helping my mom pay rent and I need to start saving money for my Social Security.” (Now mind you, she is 20 years old and she doesn’t know Jesus) Then she looks me straight in the eye and said “And I don’t want to know Jesus and I don’t want to know where He is.” Then I woke up…

You think it was the Devil trying to scare me away from her or do you think it was just a dream?

There is nothing better!

There is nothing better than waking up to my two doggies sunggled up to me! I especially love it when I have Layla (my black lab puppy) snuggled next to my legs. It shows me she loves me and it keeps us both warm. Oh how I love my doggies! Here is a glimpse of them:

Layla….she is a little older but close enough

Sandy…this isn’t her but again close enough.

A Little balst from the past

So at work last night, we were pretty slow…like 5 customers in the store. That’s really slow but surprisingly it went by fast. Anyway, two girls came into the store that I went to high school with. I have not seen them since graduation day and I wasn’t necessarily really close to them but I have known them since middle school. So I saw them and hugged them and helped them in the general direction of the kind of shoes they were looking for and trying to catch up with them and see what they have been up to. Pretty much school and work..hey like most of us my age. So, after I left them to continue their shopping, I walked past my manager, Rebecca. And I love her! She loves Jesus and puts things into perspective for me when I need it. So as I walked past her, she said “Do you know them from school?” I replied “I went to high school with them but thats about it.” Then she mentioned that they didn’t look like people I would hang out with on a regular basics. And it made me kinda sad. I know she didn’t mean it like I would never hang with them but it just reminded me of how blessed I am to have Jesus in my everyday life and how much I can be a blessing to thoes around me to have Jesus be poured into their life as well.

Now, I wish I could say that i went up to them and told them all about Jesus, but I didn’t. I really felt in my spirit that I just needed to pray for them both. I’m not sure what they have been through in their lives but I do know in high school they were mixed in a lot of illegal things. And then God brought to my attention that I can tell people about Jesus until I’m blue in the face but some people need to learn on their own. And most of the time, their own is the hard way. But sometimes the hard way will teach them where they have been and will have them realize that having Jesus in their lives is far better than anything else and it will help to open their eyes to see where they have been and where they are now.

Is it really possible to have too much God in you?

So, latley I have been really struggling with my friend, Katie. Now I have known her since 6th grade…so about 8 years now. And I truly love her. She is my friend, my sister, but latley things have not been going really good with us. So to give you a little background on her. She is my age and has a 7 month old baby. During the summer, she lived with her boyfriend who she had the kid with thinking that they were going to get married. I spent pretty much everyday with her though out the summer, just hanging out everyday. They started to go through some tough times. He delt pot and smoked it promising her that he would quite but he never did. She got fed up with him and they would fight constantly everyday. Until the day finally came where hr left her and Keaghan. She met this other guy at her work who is 38 years old and she started hanging out with him a lot more and a lot less with me as the days went on. Probably cause she knew that I was not supporative of it, but she didn’t care. You see she is one of those people who does what they want no matter what and if people disapprove, that’s even better.

So, eventually she started living with this guy who has two little girls of his own and is seperated from his wife at the moment. And all the while, keeping the apartment that she shared with the baby’s daddy who no one is living in but they don’t want to break their lease. Anyway, time goes on and we start hanging out about once or twice a week. Then one day she tells me that she is selling RX drugs from Sean’s neck surgary. And it’s all his idea! I told her “Well, you might as well be a drug dealer..” And her responce was a SHRUG! Like it didn’t matter AT ALL!! Then later that week, she tells me she is going shoe shopping for her new job as a stripper!!! OMG! What is the world coming to?!? At this point, my heart is breaking for her because she is soo decived and she doesn’t even know it. She doesn’t have any self respect cause she throws herself at any guy and in reality all she needs is God. I’m freaking out cause i’m not for it and i calmly let her know that. But ever since then she says we’ll hang out but then in the end ditches me. And it hurts my heart soo much because one-I consider her a “good” friend. Not sure if it’s because I have known her soo long or if because I feel like I can’t lean on amyone else. And two-Because she is decived and it seems as everyday passes the devil gets a hold of her more and more. I’m to the point where I don’t want to be her friend any longer. But God brought it to my attention that I need to remain her friend cause if I’m not her friend she won’t have any light in her life at all. And also I need to put aside my self and start seeing her as Jesus does and loving her like God would. I need to start asking God to give my heart strength to love her cause Jesus loved the tax collectors, and prostitutes and the liers and sinners. He also told me that I need to forgive her for the bitterness I have towards her about the ditching me. What makes me think I am worthy of forgivness especially if I don’t forgive?

So I guess my question is, is it possible to have too much God in you that you push away the people who need it most?

There is ALWAYS a light in the darkness

Isn’t that the truth?!? OK let me tell you about it. So, I have been living in my house for about ten years. And my house has ALWAYS been in my family. My grandpa had it built in 1953 and my mom and her siblings (my aunts and uncles) and grandma of course lived in that house. Then of course all the kids move away, my grandpartens got divorved and then my grandma lived there. After a long time, she couldn’t take care of herself anymore so she moved into a home where she could have round the clock care and my uncle and aunt moved in. Then after a while they moved out and my family (my mom, my dad, my bro, and I) moved in and the rest is history. *lets out a breath* All that to say, only my family has lived in that house. But even though only my family has lived in the house, it never felt clear to me. Meaning I never really felt God’s presence really dwell in my home like He did other places. Like in my friend’s houses and I never figured out why until last week.

A friend and I were talking last week and we got on the topic of demons.(Long story) Anyway, we were talking about how they latched onto people and places and they like to bug Christians. And suddenly after she said that, a light went on *DING* and I just knew that there was a demon in my house. So, I asked her, “Hey, do you think there could be one in my house?” I told her about the noises I would hear coming from the basement every night when I would try and go to sleep. I told her that I never truly felt comfortable in my own home compareed to other Christian homes. I told her how the closet door would always open right after it was shut and that I felt this denomic feeling whenever I would go into the basement, especially the laundry room. She told me that I had to go show it who was boss, kick it out of my house using the name of Jesus and anoint the basement and doors and windows. Now, I’m not a confrotational person. No matter what the issue is, I rather have it go away on its own then me having to deal with it. So I told her that I would try, at the same time thinking “I hope it just goes away on its own”.

That night, I was trying to go to sleep and I couldn’t for some reason. Ever since I found out there was a demon in my house, I was not able to sleep very well at all. But I finally got to sleep and a couple hours later, I was woke up and I felt the demon come into my room and stand at the end of my bed. Now, on the inside I was freaking out!! But I calmly turned on the light hoping it would go away, the darkness did but not the demon, I still felt it. Then, I heard God speak to me and He said, “lay back down and just start praying in tounges.” So, i did and the moment I did that I felt this HUGE blanket of peace fall ontop of me and I felt God sit beside me whispering “It’s ok” Then of course, the demon left my room.

The next couple of days, I still had not kicked the demon out and I still was not getting any sleep. So finally on Tuesday night, I had had enough! I grabbed my anointing oil and I marched down into my laundry room and I started speaking in tounges and commanding it out of my house in Jesus name! That night, I didn’t hear a thing when I went to sleep. And it was soo weird for me because i was not used to that. But then it made me realize that if I would have done it sooner, God’s presence would have been in my house sooner then now. But I FINALLY DID IT! And it felt good and powerful! I also learned a lot with God and even though I didn’t want to do it by myself, I needed to. To take that authority that Jesus gave me. Thanks to all who encouraged me and pushed me to do it! Oh and PS NEVER be afraid of those things. God gave yu the authority to kick butt so use it! And it is WAY WAY WAY more scraed of you then you are of it because u have Jesus inside of you! PTL for that!

Honesty and this summer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This summer has been really hard for me. I have been trying to run from this. But this has been happening for the last 2 and a half months. And I guess what upsets me the most is that I was warrned not to go there, but somehow it happened anyway. What I’m talking about is going to OH NO land over the summer. Being out of the swing of things has been hard for me. I feel like I am a joke around the church cause I’m not spending time in the Word and with God everyday. I’m lucky if I even say Hey to Him. And i AM JUST SOO ashamed of myself. I mean I have still attended Sunday morning church and Wednesday nights and still hung with my chase kids and ya know been that leader but I never really felt like the leader I was suppose to be because I didn’t have that daily connection with God. I tried doing everything on my own and I know that it never works and it never will doing things on my own but yet I still try to do it. Is it cause it’s human nature to be “independant?” But now that a new internship is just about to begin and I’m getting all this responsibility, I’ll tell you the truth (cause its in the title) I’m scared that I’m just going to make mistake after mistake with all this. I’m scared of what the next three years is going to hold, but at the same time I am SOOO excited! And I don’t know which one I am more of if you asked me. BUT…..God is SOOO good. I was surfing the World Wide Web (name the movie!!) and I came across this picture. And I heard God speak to me because when I saw it I was almost bawling. I heard Him say “NO matter what happened this summer, I’m right here now and forever.” And even though I knew that He never left my side through out the summer it was just soo encouraging to hear that. And I know He is always around me, but when I saw this picture I felt Him like I could never explain. It was just in a refreshing way. Like He lifted whatever it was over my eyes and I’m seeing Him in a different light.

Just like the Barlow Girl song, “Harder than then first time”

I walked with you
Just like we’ve done for so long
You seemed so near
But even that’s become so common

It’s not just you, just been together so long
That I thought I knew everything about you
But today I saw; did you open up my eyes?
‘Cause I feel like I’ve just seen you for the first time

Chorus
I didn’t see you
But God I want to
You’ve come alive
and I think I’ve fallen harder than the first time

Was I so blind; how did I not see you?
Yet in all that time you never left my side

Wow God talked to me tonight!

More than Life

So we sang that song in service today. And it never occured to me the meaning that I got today from that song. Life brings joy, sadness, every emotion, every action, love, sharing your life with others, helping others, and name whatever you want, it’s life. And the song says “I love you more than life.” Just saying, more than life, thats like major. Your saying that you love God soooo much more than anything this world has to offer, more than your parents can give you, more than your husband, wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend could give you. That just really spoke to me this morning. More than life just opens up boundless possibilities. And after hearing that song, I really got this sence of how much I love God. Not only for dying for my sins but because He has been there forever. I just used to never notice him.  I was talking to one of my girls today, and she is going through a really tough time. She is letting the devil in her head, letting him decieve her. And she was just really upset saying that nobody at church loved her and that nobody liked her cause she didn’t do the summer internship last year. And she is still upset about Ben and Holly leaving. She says that everybody that she lets close to her, they leave not long after they get close. And I said, “Sometimes God removes the people around you because He is wanting intimacy from you that bad. But no matter who leaves, Jesus will never leave you side. he is there always, even when you don’t notice.” And as much as that spoke to her, it also spoke to me. I’m still a little upset that ben and Holly are leaving, but I DO know that God has a plan for them and that he is going to take care of them, because He’s God. But I also feel God wanting more intimacy with me as well. This week, I’m going to be honest, I have bariley spent time with God, and I have noticed that my emotions are on high all the time and things upset me like that. *Snaps fingers* But I spent time with Him today, and I realized that if I really loved God more than life then I would be spending time with Him everyday. Slap to the face! But now I know what I need to do. isn’t God funny sometimes? I definatly think he has a sence of humor.

Graduation

Yay, we did it! I’m stoked to listen to the Backstreet Boys again. Hey, you know what, this is my space, so go judge them someplace else lol. But I was really reflecting on what God has done in my life these past 9 months and it’s amazing. Everybody was like “I’m so proud of you, You came a long way.” And it’s great to hear, but I guess I didn’t realize how bad I was until my reflection time. And as I have climbed these mountians that I have climbed in these past months, I still have a long way to go. Like Pastor Brian said a couple nights ago, think of it like stair steps. But now I know that with God everything is possible. Even really tall mountains. I mean I knew that before, but I’m the kind of person who knows it but doesn’t really believe it until I go through it, especially when it deals with God. Or that’s how I used to be, but now I’m completely different. And that means Kudos to the big man upstairs.

 

 

 

       Yesterday was Buck day! Or that’s what we(Pastor Brian and I) call it. We made up this “ritual” to hopefully get our team to win this year. What it is, is we dress up in our Tampa Bay gear and cheer them on all day. It was just a one time thing yesterday, but I think that can be arranged. It is for Tampa fans, of course. It wouldn’t make any sence if we had a Bronco fan within our mists. Now don’t get me wrong, I do like the Broncos but I have to stay true to my heart and be the tampa fan that I am. Even though, I was born here, it doesn’t matter. It’s where the heart is that counts. If you would like to join our Buck day, we’d love to have this fantastic thing spread, but like I said, only Buck fans. And if not, then leave.